Why do Mormons cringe at being called feminist?

Why do Mormon women cringe at being called a feminist or even being associated with feminism? So, a year ago, I rewrote instructions for a whist game for a Jane Austen ball. For clarity and gender neutral language, I used the phrase “he or she” instead of using the word “they.” A girl, who I assume didn’t know I wrote the instructions, said “Oh please, like I’m going to be offended if it doesn’t say ‘she’ on there.” Her friends were quick to voice their agreement. My putting “he or she” in wasn’t even a feminist move. But they were so concerned about not being associated with feminism, with putting it far from themselves.

A clarification between radical and liberal feminism would be helpful. In a nutshell, radical feminism is the idea that women should overtake men in their sphere and should rule, and liberal feminism is the idea that women should be equally valued in their own sphere, be it in the work place or the home.

Radical feminists want to squash the patriarchy, and in some cases, want to create a matriarchy where society thrives on sperm banks, and all men are killed off. (they do have their good ideas though, like most groups do.) But a society of only women could not, obviously, support the standards for family that we Mormons have, as both genders are crucial to the family.

But, a large chunk of feminists, maybe even the majority, aren’t radical feminists. We’re liberal feminists, who want respect and support. A liberal feminist would never tell a mother that mothering is beneath her. But would support her in that role. A liberal feminist knows that women in the many roles they play are vital to society.

Shouldn’t Mormon women who believe that gender differences are eternal and essential want to support women in those differences, and shouldn’t we fight to eliminate the idea that women are less than men?

Girls in our church are taught to prepare for motherhood from the time we’re 12, but as our Young Women’s leaders are teaching us how to can jelly, we’re also bombarded with messages that say that mothers and women are nagging control freaks. Who wants to be a nagging control freak? Liberal feminism could teach us that a woman is not a punchline, or a balm, but a person. Young Women’s leaders and parents struggle with the girls under their care losing themselves through searching for the approval of others, liberal feminism could teach us that we have worth.